


missing him, missing them

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: I'm lame, Platonic Relationship, XiuHan - Freeform, implied krisho, implied tao, implied taohun, mentioned kris and luhan, this is really bad omf, this is so lame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4176006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Minseok misses Luhan, and Joonmyun comforts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	missing him, missing them

**Author's Note:**

> a xiuhan post came onto my dashboard after a long time and i'm so uGH  
> this is lame and probably doesn't make sense  
> unbeta'd bc this is just me venting my feels

Minseok is quiet—this is common knowledge.

Minseok is reserved—this is common knowledge.

“Can you two just _shut up_ already?”

Minseok is pissed—this knowledge has just come to light. His one question renders the entire room silent—Sehun pauses the game he and Jongin are playing, Kyungsoo stops the sports anime he’s watching, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol, the two who Minseok’s question is directed towards, stop laughing. It takes Minseok a moment to realize what he has done; he apologizes quickly and disappears into his room, shutting the door behind him with a _click_.

His slides down against the door and pulls his knees into himself. And he sobs—not loudly though, if he cries too loudly the others will hear him.   

Through the door he hears Jongdae speak—he and Joonmyun must be back from their schedule—“Why is it so quiet?”

 

Its eleven thirty-two when someone knocks on Minseok’s door, “Are you still awake?” It’s Joonmyun. Minseok pulls his blankets over his face and doesn’t reply, hopefully Joonmyun will go away. “I’m coming in okay?” The door opens with a soft creak; Minseok has to keep himself from sighing. “I know you’re awake, we need to talk about what happened earlier.” The lights flicker on.

Reluctantly Minseok uncovers himself, but he faces the wall as he speaks, “I just had a headache, they were being too loud, I’m sorry.”

The bed creaks at the added weight, “Don’t lie.”

And it’s the way that Joonmyun speaks—with such empathy and understanding and sorrow—that makes Minseok cry. He feels absolutely pathetic. Joonmyun lies down next to Minseok and embraces him, whispering sweet comforting words that don’t really make Minseok feel better, but they reassure him that Joonmyun actually does _care_. Minseok has no idea how long he’s been crying but he forces himself to inhale deeply and stop. He’s been keeping everything to himself for months.

“It hurts _so fucking much_.” Minseok mumbles, he can feel Joonmyun breathe against his skin (and he can’t help but remember when that was a daily occurrence—feeling a certain someone breathe against him.) “It’s been _months_ and it still hurts so much.”

 “I don’t want to lie to you Minseok, I’m sorry if this makes you feel worse but…it’s going to hurt for a while.” Joonmyun sits up against the wall and sighs, “It’s been over a year and I…it still hurts—not as much as it used to, but some nights it’s just _so_ bad.”

Minseok does feel worse after hearing that. He forgets that he isn’t the only one who lost his…Minseok sits up against the wall and leans his head onto Joonmyun’s shoulder. “I feel so selfish and inconsiderate—like I got to say goodbye to him, I knew he was leaving, we still kind of talk, and he’s doing _so so so_ much better now, but every day I wish that he never left.”

“I know the feeling,” Joonmyun holds Minseok’s hand gently. “As much as I said I hated him for not telling me anything, for keeping everything to himself, for leaving…I still miss him, sometimes I wish he never left too.” Minseok sighs and squeezes Joonmyun’s hand. It’s silent for a while before Joonmyun continues, “Why did you yell at Baekhyun and Chanyeol earlier?” Minseok stiffens at the question. “They told me that they honestly weren’t even being as loud as they usually are.”

Minseok smiles sadly, “I was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Jealous that they still have their best friend with them to laugh with and fight with and to hug and to ki...” Minseok trails off. “I miss having that, I mean, I know I joke around with the others and play with them but…it’s not the same…it’s not…” Minseok pauses before, “Luhan.”

It feels liberating to finally say Luhan’s name out loud—it’s been an unspoken taboo among the remaining members to speak the names of the ones who left.

“Honestly, I’ve felt jealous of them too, for the same reasons; and I think that…well its obvious Sehun has too.”

Minseok forces a chuckle, “We should start a club.”

“Yeah we should.”

 

Minseok wakes up the next morning with a crick in his neck. He groans as he stretches up; when did he fall asleep?

On his bedside table is a note; the words bring a small smile to his face.

 

_You fell asleep on me ^^;_

_Minseok, you can always talk to me about this okay?_

_And if not me, Jongdae or Yixing will definitely listen_

_-Joonmyun_

_ps. we should start that club with sehun, he’s been hurting a lot too, no matter how much he denies it._

 

Minseok may not be completely okay for a while, but he will be someday.


End file.
